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It’s so easy…

June 16, 2011

even a Caveman could do it…

Fisk this Salon article by one Alex Pareene, that is

I’ll hit the high-lights:

“They convince themselves that liberals are using public schools to indoctrinate our children into worshiping Barack Obama, and so they start a Tea Party Summer Camp, where our children will be properly indoctrinated into loving liberty.”

Because as we all know… it’s not like our children are being taught history or anything….. just take a look at this:

Fewer than a quarter of American 12th-graders knew China was North Korea’s ally during the Korean War, and only 35% of fourth-graders knew the purpose of the Declaration of Independence, according to national history-test scores released Tuesday

The results from the National Assessment of Educational Progress revealed that U.S. schoolchildren have made little progress since 2006 in their understanding of key historical themes, including the basic principles of democracy and America’s role in the world.

But I guarantee they can teach you about putting a condom on a bananna and which person through out history could be a member of the GLBTA. But tell you what the purpose of the Declaration of Independence was? No wonder Americans today have traded their liberty and freedom for the promises of endless bread and circuses by big government crusaders. Public schools are doing a BANG-UP job of educating our children. How dare you teach them the unapproved curriculum!

But it gets better:

At Tea Party camp, conservative writer Jeff Lukens will teach your children to say things like “America is good” and “I work hard for what I have and I will share it with who I want to. Government cannot force me to be charitable.” (That is a mouthful for an 8-year-old!)

That’s right. Because we all know America is inherently evil and looks to create misery. And we all equally know that paying your taxes to Uncle Sam is the most charitable and patriotic act a human being can hope to aspire to.

Seriously folks, it almost fisks itself. And Mr. Pareene continues to show how he also probably failed both any Logic courses he might have taken, much less any U.S. history courses.

I have some really good ideas for other Tea Party Summer Camp activities:

The children will be rewarded for disobeying rules, because camp counselors have no authority under the 10th Amendment.

Sheesh. I know this is meant to show some sort of ignorance on the behalf of Tenthers, but seriously, this can only make a semi-retarded chimp laugh in agreement (apologies to all actual semi-retarded chimpanzees). If the camp counselors were the federal government, and the rules being disobeyed were not legitimate federal laws based on the enumerated powers, then his statement would be correct. Meh. I have the feeling that some amendments in the Bill of Rights are more equal than others…. especially to Mr. Pareene…

A child who accuses other children of bullying or teasing will be ignored unless he or she can produce video evidence.

Because we all know that you don’t need any evidence, other than an eye witness, to get a conviction. Oh wait. I think this is supposed to be a reference to all of the RACIST! epithets, plethoras and plethoras of them, shouted at black Congressmen during the healthcare debates, that despite hundreds of cameras and cellphone videos, not a single one made it onto any type of media as proof. Odd I tell you. Very odd. It’s almost like screaming RACISTS! is evidence of RACISM!

One day the counselors will take all the children’s candy and give it to a fat, lazy kid who doesn’t have any candy, in order to teach them about the unfairness of wealth-redistribution.

Um. Yeah, ofcourse, the author means to say that because we don’t tax the fat lazy rich enough, we’re actually taking money, and food, and healthcare, and housing away from the “poor”. Doesn’t really get the fact that true wealth redistribution is when you take from those according to their ability to give to those according to their needs. But whatever helps people who use the government to plunder others sleep at night.

In order to learn that there is no such thing as a free lunch, the children will not be given lunch.

What if they paid for the camp? What if part of their payment was for lunch to be provided? And does this asinine statement take away from the truth that there is no such thing as a free lunch. That even if the lunches provided at this camp were indeed free, that someone paid for them, that someone used their time to grow the wheat and the turkeys and the tomatoes, paid to process them and package them, and that someone spent their time/money to actually mix the ingredients into a sammich?

His attempt at snark is, what the kids today call, an EPIC FAIL.

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3 Comments
  1. James permalink
    June 16, 2011 4:29 pm

    I think the article is absurd and poorly thought out. I imagine the same with the Tea Party camp, however because it seems crazy as well.

    And China wasn’t an ally of N. Korea during that war…well not technically. The Chinese People’s Volunteer Army fought in N. Korea, but they weren’t technically under Chiina’s control. And China wasn’t an ally but an interested party, there is a huge difference between the two. Yes, I know China was neck deep in the war with men and material, but technically they weren’t. Isn’t law fun?

  2. Michael Eaton permalink
    June 17, 2011 8:02 am

    How about we fisk you?

    First of all, read the source article:
    http://www.tampabay.com/news/education/k12/tea-party-group-offers-summer-camp/1175119

    “Because as we all know… it’s not like our children are being taught history or anything”

    Um, apparently you forgot:

    Letters to the president about things students can do to help US, “indoctrination”. Huh.

    http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2009/09/02/critics-decry-obamas-indoctrination-plan-students/

    Stay in school speech “indoctrination”. huh.

    http://mediamatters.org/mmtv/200909020011

    “Fewer than a quarter of American 12th-graders knew China was North Korea’s ally during the Korean War, and only 35% of fourth-graders knew the purpose of the Declaration of Independence, according to national history-test scores released Tuesday”

    Yet conservatives want to cut education funding. Huh.

    “But I guarantee they can teach you about putting a condom on a bananna and which person through out history could be a member of the GLBTA”

    ?? Really? Methinks you doth protest so nuttily. I don’t think there are too many discussions of Franklin’s sexuality, or anyone else for that matter, so I think your “guarantee” is a bit bold. I’m sure you’ll find a link where one class in some obscure area had a discussion, but I think there are more history classes than those you mention. If you want poor history education, go anywhere a Texas school book is used:

    “The new standards say that the McCarthyism of the 1950s was later vindicated — something most historians deny — draw an equivalency between Jefferson Davis’s and Abraham Lincoln’s inaugural addresses, say that international institutions such as the United Nations imperil American sovereignty, and include a long list of Confederate officials about whom students must learn.”Oh, and don’t forget taking the word “slave” out of “slave trade”.

    http://www.theroot.com/buzz/texas-school-board-rewrites-history

    “Because we all know America is inherently evil and looks to create misery.”

    Actually, that isn’t even implied. It is funny (sad) hearing an 8-year old say “can’t force me to be charitable”. When my kids were 8, empathy was a natural by-product of the age: animals, poor people, trees, etc. You really have to force kids to say that “charity = weakness”.

    “I have some really good ideas for other Tea Party Summer Camp activities”

    His snark is based on the IDIOTIC camp activities. Popping bubbles as a lesson in economics?? It is a simple exercise to prove that socialized teamwork would be far more effective that individual free-market popping. Travel to the “new world” from Europe? Heh, something tells me not too many kids of color at that camp. “Candy versus paper money”?? Are you kidding me?

    “Oh wait. I think this is supposed to be a reference to all of the RACIST! epithets”

    Actually, probably more of a reference to the new “gotcha” style of conservative “journalists” like Breitbart and O’Keefe. But you even confirm his point, since the cameras did not capture it, it did not happen? Really? Are you sure? Or is it your politics talking?

    “true wealth redistribution is when you take from those according to their ability to give to those according to their needs”

    Right… and that is a bad thing, right? Oh, its the “take” thing. Now what if the group elected leaders who made decisions about helping the poor kid without candy by taking a single candy from each pile to give to the kid, and the other kids realize that that small personal sacrifice made the life better for the poor kid, and didn’t impact their life much after all. Can’t learn a lesson like that. “Government can’t force me to be charitable.” Keep repeating the mantra…

    As for fail, it, my friend, is you who have failed, but only in a small way. In actuality, it is the camp that managed an EPIC FAIL.

    • June 18, 2011 2:40 pm

      Mike, your desire to “fisk” has not been met with a corresponding ability to follow through.

      “Yet conservatives want to cut education funding. Huh.”

      What? First of all, most conservatives and small government types want the federal government to keep their hands out of education, and stop using tax dollars to influence state and local governments to bend to the centralized dream of bureaucrats and busy-bodies who “know better” in D.C.

      From Frederic Bastiat, who sums up your comment most nicely:

      Socialism, like the ancient ideas from which it springs, confuses the distinction between government and society. As a result of this, every time we object to a thing being done by government, the socialists conclude that we object to its being done at all. We disapprove of state education. Then the socialists say that we are opposed to any education. We object to a state religion. Then the socialists say that we want no religion at all. We object to a state-enforced equality. Then they say that we areagainst equality. And so on, and so on. It is as if the socialists were to accuse us of not wanting persons to eat because we do not want the state to raise grain.

      “?? Really? Methinks you doth protest so nuttily. I don’t think there are too many discussions of Franklin’s sexuality, or anyone else for that matter, so I think your “guarantee” is a bit bold”

      Yeah. Right Mike.

      Important figures of various ethnicities, races or cultures were present in her history books, but references to contributions made by bisexuals like Irene were nonexistent.

      Gays, lesbians and transgender people were left out too, the El Cerrito High School senior noted.

      A controversial bill moving through the state Legislature would change that, requiring social science .instructional materials to include the role and contributions of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender Americans, as well as Pacific Islanders and those with disabilities.

      Sorry if your attempts to paint me as crazy for wondering if some well-intentioned progress somewhere wants to shift emphasis to the cause du jour…

      “Actually, that isn’t even implied.”
      Um. Except for pointing it out at all, that they have the audacity to teach that “America is Good!” Ofcourse that is just silly…

      “It is funny (sad) hearing an 8-year old say “can’t force me to be charitable”. When my kids were 8, empathy was a natural by-product of the age: animals, poor people, trees, etc. You really have to force kids to say that “charity = weakness”.”

      And here is where we see your warped view of “charity”. Ya see Mike, I won’t teach my kids to be charitable with other people’s money. Government only gets its money from other people (other than simply printing it), so when you confuse charity with “government spending and handouts”, you missed the point.

      And you can’t force people to be charitable, even with their own money. I think we’ve gone over the Rich Young Man and Jesus a time or two.

      I actually teach my kids to give money to their church, and to charities of their choice. I will never tell them to push for higher taxes, for themselves, or for the EVIL RICH!™. Because there is no virtue in it.

      “It is a simple exercise to prove that socialized teamwork would be far more effective that individual free-market popping”

      Geez. How did those 5 year plans and Great Leaps Forward work in China and Russia?

      Oh yeah. not well…

      Not well at all…

      “Travel to the “new world” from Europe? Heh, something tells me not too many kids of color at that camp.”
      Hey look. RACISM!

      (eye roll)

      Mike. Take your racial prismed glasses off for a second, and realize that the New World represented a break from the old European system of government. It was a symbol of liberty and freedom, apart from titles of nobility, where every man could find his own destiny without government interferenece. Ofcourse, if you really like and believe in government interference, then I’m not surprised you can only find RACISM! in the comment.

      “Candy versus paper money”?? Are you kidding me? ”

      To a child, money is meaningless. It is nothing but a piece of paper or coinage. To adults, we’re told it holds “value”. To a child, candy, holds value. I thought it would be simple enough for you to understand when teaching children, you have to talk to their level. Kinda of like I’m doing right now.

      “But you even confirm his point, since the cameras did not capture it, it did not happen? Really? Are you sure? Or is it your politics talking?”

      While you are correct that absence of evidence is not necessarily evidence of absence, did you know I saw Anthony Wiener looking at Twitter pics of you naked? I have no proof. I can’t find the Twitter feed. But I know what I saw. See. Making crap up is FUN!

      “Right… and that is a bad thing, right?”

      Mike. Never. Ever. Ever. Again. Tell me you don’t believe in socialism or communism. Please.

      “Oh, its the “take” thing. Now what if the group elected leaders who made decisions about helping the poor kid without candy by taking a single candy from each pile to give to the kid, and the other kids realize that that small personal sacrifice made the life better for the poor kid, and didn’t impact their life much after all.”

      Mike. Poor analogy. You want to take 40-50% from the kids who have reached a threshold of having “too much” candy. Not a single piece from all the other kids.

      And it isn’t a “personal sacrifice” to have the government take someone’s private property. A personal sacrifice would be to GIVE it willingly, without government coercion. And preferably not through the government coffers, where said “elected politicians” then actually divert it to whatever their hearts desire, all competing to get more for their individual state/district.

      When government stops protecting private property, and insteads becomes an “elected counsel” on how to properly redistribute it, it’s lost its moral standing.

      “Can’t learn a lesson like that. “Government can’t force me to be charitable.” Keep repeating the mantra…”

      Um. Mike. Like I said. Government can’t force me to be charitable. Government cant force me to be nice to other people. Government can’t make me brush my teeth. All government can do is take by force. All government can do is punish me in some way for not behaving in the way they believe I should.

      Please. Tell me again how you are for liberty and freedom. It just doesn’t stop being funny.

      See. That is how you properly fisk your EPIC FAIL.

      In fact. this pretty much represents your entire comment, in GIF form…

      .

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